Ms. Conception Synopsis:
Abigail Nichols has tried everything from rash-inducing
herbal creams to acupuncture in a desperate, last-ditch effort to get pregnant.
Wedged into her iPhone schedule among new business pitches and rebranding
design meetings is Abby’s ovulation cycle, along with potential opportunities
for illicit afternoon quickies. With all of their hopes and savings on the
table, Abby and her husband Jack enter the whispered world of fertility
clinics.
Along with a meddling mother-in-law, competitive
pregnancies, and constant obligatory sex, Abby’s baby-track mind conspires to
ravage her career, her marriage, and her sanity. One thing she knows for sure:
a healthy sense of humor (and the occasional glass of red wine) is the best
coping strategy. One thing she wishes she knew: whether it will be enough.
Ms. Conception is an honest but light-hearted novel inspired
by the ups and downs of fertility treatments and the emotional burden that
rests on those trying to conceive.
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Excerpt
We are at Dr. Greenberg’s office at exactly ten o’clock.
Ordinarily I’d be early to such an important appointment, but history has
taught me that punctuality is not worth it with this man. I quickly change into
my hospital gown, and Jack is handed full hospital gear to wear as well,
including booties and hair net. He heads to the jerk-off room for what we hope
will be his last deposit. Lovely Nurse happens to be on duty in the IVF suite.
She walks us through the procedure and sets me up with an IV for the sedation.
“You
won’t be completely out, but you won’t feel much. Put it this way, it’s like
having twelve margaritas: you’ll know you’re in pain, but you won’t care.” She
pulls Jack off to the side to have a discussion.
“What
was that about?” I ask as he returns to my side with a smile.
“They
just wanted to know if I was squeamish. I guess a couple of guys hit the floor
each month and they want to be prepared. I told her I’m fine.” We are not the
only ones who have a retrieval today; there are two other couples ahead of us.
We pull out our books but find we can’t concentrate.
Suddenly
the music in the suite changes from the local Top 40 radio station to a
classical channel, as Lovely Nurse injects what she calls the “first batch” of
sedation drugs into all the women’s IVs. The retrieval process must be
relatively quick, since the first woman is soon helped out of the procedure
room by her husband and Lovely Nurse. She looks woozy but wears a hint of a
smile, either drug-induced or because she knows she may be one step closer to
becoming a mom. The procedure room gets cleaned up quickly and the second
couple heads in, a petite woman and a very tall linebacker type. Okay, we’re
next. Jack squeezes my hand and I close my eyes, feeling suddenly quite
relaxed. I’m liking these margaritas.
A few
minutes later the door to the procedure room flies open, and out comes the
football player with Lovely Nurse leading the way. The color has drained from
his face and he looks ready to vomit or pass out. She dumps him in a change
room, barks at him to keep his head between his knees, yanks the curtains closed around him, and rolls her eyes
in exasperation. I’m pretty sure I hear her mutter “pathetic” as she
passes. I have to agree with her. I mean, come on buddy, all you have to do is
sit there and hold your wife’s hand. She has had weeks of needles and drugs and
is now having her eggs surgically removed. I open my mouth to say something,
then realize that Jack has gone a few shades paler. I squeeze his hand and he
takes a deep breath as he meets my eyes. I’m sure he will be fine. He’d better
be fine.
Jen Cumming Bio:
Jen Cumming had two dreams: to be a mother and a writer. The
first was much harder than she’d imagined, but it gave her plenty of material
for her second dream. Now she’s realized both and traded drug cocktails and
early morning line-ups at the fertility clinic for juice boxes and evening PTA
meetings.
Jen’s latest dream is to live in a small village in France
and eat croissants. Being allergic to wheat might hamper that dream, so in the
meantime she does her best to balance life with two young children and run a
business with her husband in Toronto. She loves to spend time at the cottage in
the summer, ski in the winter, and travel whenever she can.
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